Honest Thoughts and Ramblings

One thing about having had this fistula . . . I know I am still scared to really eat much and anything to strong in flavor. I mix my protein shake with a little milk so it's not to thick either. I only eat an ounce at a time about every hour. I still hurt and when I do too much, which isn't much at all.

I get chills like I am cold. It's something I have always gotten when I have trauma or severe pain. I take my pain medicine to help me relax through it. I figure by how I feel now I am about 6 weeks from feeling better enough to go places again.  So far I only go from the bedroom to the kitchen. I am still sleeping in the recliner we brought into the bedroom. I cannot sit up or lay back without it as my stomach cannot handle the pain.

I fear springing a leak again more than anything and then I also fear the what if it starts leaking again but stays on the inside. I weigh myself every day to make sure I am not leaking on the inside and gaining weight. I know some of this may all sound paranoid but then again you may be worrying about the same things.

With the complications I began doubting my surgeon. Well, I was already doubting him before I had the second surgery to fix the first surgery. I didn't feel like I was good when I was released from the hospital, but I wanted to board the plane and come home so if I at least died, I died in the US near my family rather than alone in Mexico.

Once home I was healing fine until one day I started with a small leak from 2 of my incisions. I didn't know if I had caused the leak by massaging some of the hard spots on my left side. They were like hard lumps that hurt and pushed against my ribs. So I massaged them a bit in hope's they would go away. I also wondered if I had pulled it apart by getting up and down from my chair. Now, I wonder if it's just the doctors hurrying and not taking extra time to sew us up right in the first place.Sort of like a puppy mill for surgery.

I received my first notice from our insurance asking us if there is a third party they can go after and for me to describe what happened. The first one is from my local hospital who did the cat scan and transported me to Houston and this bill is over 11,000. I sure hope our insurance pays for it.
I hate to see the bill from Houston after spending 10 days in the hospital.

On the Mend

I can hardly believe the month of September is almost over. This past month has been such a blur with everything that has happened. I even surprised myself being able to keep up on the important things.

Today I feel better than yesterday. I am struggling to drink enough water, but I am also sipping lots of chicken broth as well. I mixed my protein shake with 1/2 shake and 1/2 milk to help get it down and digest easy. That really did make a difference and I did not get that awful bloated feeling.

I am getting up and walking around several times throughout the day to help me gas build up. I will say I am looking forward to being able to puree my food in a couple of weeks. Yesterday, I had some Progresso soup that was wonderful. I strained the broth and set the meat and noodles aside. I was thinking how much I wanted to throw that can in my Nutribullet and liquefy it and drink it down.

It seems almost every hour I am having hunger pains, and I need to eat and drink something. I am having a hard time eating the jello, but I never was a big jello fan.

My six year old last week said to me "Mom, maybe this wasn't such a good idea" as she stood by me and held my hand. Last week, I was feeling somewhat in agreement, but this week, with Picc line out and finally drinking foods, I only see what is in my future, no more diabetes, no more meds to control my blood sugar, and the ability to lose the weight I put on from the diabetes. The desire to not be overweight anymore and to be thin again and living a happy, healthier life makes all that I have been through this month and all that I still have to endure worth it.

Slow and steady wins the race, and I plan on taking it slow and steady.

Finally Moving Forward and Making Progress

 My appointment with the bariatric doctor went well: better than I had anticipated. The fistula is closed; the incisions that had opened are closing and no longer leaking.  Dr. Snyder removed the picc line and stopped the TPN.  

I am now allowed to drink liquids and Dr. Snyder gave me the starting diet to begin. It feels really good to be able to drink fluids again. I am no longer chocking and gaging from dry mouth and throat.

Yesterday, I drank some minestrone Progresso soup broth and it tasted wonderful. I followed my diet instructions and also drank the protein shake, but I felt sick for hours afterwards. I was so bloated and uncomfortable. I had already tested out drinking and ounce of milk with no issues, but the protein shake was still just a bit much for me. After all it has been 5 weeks since I had the surgery and not being allowed to eat or drink anything. I have decided to hold off on the protein until I am digesting the broths and milk a little better. I figure I need a least a week of my system working before I attempt to add the thick protein drink back to my diet.

I felt so well Thursday that I started my day off strong, but quickly realized I am physically not up to the task and had to rest most of the rest of the day.  I plan on taking things much easier and slower as I do not want to risk hurting myself and ending up back in the hospital.

Dr. Appointments Today

Today will be a long day for me today. I have 2 doctor appointments. I have my blood draw and Picc Line gauze change at 10:00 this morning. I hope it goes by quicker than last week.

Second, I see the bariatric doctor and I can see how my progress is going and if I can finally drink or eat anything. I am really hoping I can start drinking. I have not enjoyed being thirsty and having the dry mouth and gagging from not being allowed to swallow anything.

I will update later, unless I am too exhausted to update today, then I will post tomorrow.

Fiasco at my Dr. Appt Wednesday.

It is Friday and I am just now feeling up to posting about my Dr. Appt. from Wednesday.  Someone set up the appointment for me, but failed to inform my local doctor what the appointment was for or what they needed.

My doctor had no notes sent over and we tried to fill in the blanks for him as best we could. They only had one person on staff qualified to change my gauze on the Picc Line.

Then there was the issue of the labs. They never sent over what labs they needed. My doctor tried calling several people for over an hour to find out any information with no success. He finally ordered a bunch of labs to be safe. Off to the lab I go and what a surprise, no one knows how to use the picc line to retrieve blood so they are poking and prodding to find a vein to get some.

By the time we left the doctor's office it was 12:30 and my appointment was at 9:00. I was so happy to get home and lay down at this point.

The only good thing that came out of this by Thursday we had it all figured out so now my doctor's office is informed for next week and my TPN bags are to be delivered today for the week.

In general, I am tired today and feel just a little bit nauseated.

I am hoping that I am way better in a month from now than I feel right now. Please keep up the prayers, I am doing better, but I am not out of the woods yet.

Thanks!

Slowly Feeling Better

Slowly I am making progress. I didn't do too much walking yesterday. I went to the kitchen and leaned over the sink so my mother could help me wash my hair. It had been almost 12 days since I had my hair washed and it was making me crazy feeling so gross. They wanted to take me to a local salon to have it done, but I know I don't have that much energy to do that just yet.

Hair washing was a success. We also removed the bile bags that were attached. Since there has hardly been any drainage, which is a good thing. That tells me the fistula that we have all been praying to close, is closing since it is no longer leaking out my incision sites. Anyhow, the bags had been on for almost a week and I could feel them beginning to hurt and eat away at my skin. My mother stood by and cried for fear when we pulled them off and my son and I slowly peeled them away. Nothing leaked out. We wiped them down with sterile gauze and sterile water. They felt better immediately!
We are keeping them covered with sterile gauze in the event there is still small amounts of leakage.

I have begun weighing myself daily to make sure I am not leaking inside my body and gaining weight. So far I am losing a small amount of ounces every day. This morning I actually weighed 209.8, so that is a good sign. I am still no food or water by mouth, only the TPN bags for my food through the IV Picc Line.

Today I feel a little more alert and my mom said my color is looking better. I am still napping a lot, but that is good, I know I am healing and I am finally sleeping better at night and can lay almost entirely flat now without any complications.

I see my local PCP on Wednesday, where he will draw my labs for Dr. Snyder and change the dressing on my Picc Line. I will let him know what we did with removing the bags and covering up my skin with gauze so it can heal.

My first appointment with Dr. Snyder is Wednesday, September 25th.

Please continue to pray for my healing and recovery. I hope to be able to be back on track in less than a month but only the doctor will know for sure when that is, but I am hoping it is sooner than a month.

Well, I am ready for a nap and will try to post more often now that I am feeling a little better. I just do not want to over do it.

Below is a picture I took today of the hole from my incision where the leak began and how it looks today after removing the drainage bags. I felt the bile by the incision was just eating away at my skin and making it larger. It actually looks better today than it did yesterday when we first removed it.

Finally Home from the Hospital.

Where do I begin. First of all I am happy to be alive and I am happy to be home.

This journey has not been easy and I have withheld saying my true opinion until I had a chance to think about it entirely before posting. I am most thankful that I was back in the US when my bile leak just began pouring out my incision sites. I was transported immediately to Memorial Hermann Trauma Hospital in Downtown Houston where I have been under wonderful care for the past 10 days. Praise God I was there with many of the best surgeons and medical care in US if not the world.

On Tuesday September 3, 2013 while having a picc line installed for my TPN, I remember telling them I could feel my lips or breath. I was code blue. The next thing I know they are pulling at me and calling my name as I struggle to gasp for air. When I open my eyes I see nothing  but medical doctors, they are holding my chin up and administering  high doses of oxygen. My nurse told my husband my lips were blue and my body was purple when she fist saw me.

This experience was very scary and when I finally was breathing with just small amounts of oxygen in my nose I began going into a mild shock and shook uncontrollably. I was freezing to the bone even with layers of blankets on me. I was so happy when it finally passed.

I cannot eat or drink anything by mouth until my leak (fistula) is completely healed. In the mean time I am receiving all my nutrient's via my picc line. I still cannot drink anything for the next two weeks as it continues to heal.

What I have been withholding back in my surgery experience in Mexico with Dr. Kelly. I heard all the great things, I went through all his degrees and certifications, and yes he was nice, but I was not happy with surgery procedure. From the moment I woke from the first surgery August 19,2013 I could feel something was wrong. I was yelling in Spanish No, Muerto! (sp) I was exhausted and in a lot of pain. Anything that I swallowed caused pain. All my vitals were good though.
By Wednesday August 21, 2013 I was taken to my leak test and failed. When I look back I am not surprised. So back to the hospital I went and Dr. Kelly did a revision surgery. My recovery was slow and painful. I didn't see Dr. Kelly much after that and I never saw his wife Cecy again.

On Saturday August 24, 2013 I was again take to my leak test, this time there was another patient who had the sleeve done. You could not tell he even had surgery as he was walking around and carrying his back pack. I was still in a wheel chair. I supposedly passed my leak test this time. Dr. Kelly removed my drain. Very painful. He said he would be by hotel later to removed the IV line left in my hand and check in on me.

By 10:00 still no sign of Dr. Kelly. I removed the IV stuff from my hand myself. I slept in a chair. The next morning Dr. Kelly's assistance came to take me and another patient to the air port to return home. She seemed shocked Dr. Kelly never came to see me since he was there and checked in on the other patients. At this point I just couldn't wait to get stateside and home. I had wheelchair assistance the entire time at the airport. I am so thankful I did. I was so blown up with fluids, they could barely make the seatbelt on the airline fit. When I stood the pain was excruciating and my back couldn't support the weight of my belly hanging, so I had to support it with my hands.

Once home, I weighed almost 20 pounds more than before I left and my kids said I looked fatter like a puffer fish. My recovery was still very painful and slow. I never received my email report from Dr. Kelly on the revision surgery. I wondered why he didn't want to face me before I left. I questioned if he knew something wasn't right but wanted me to go home hope it all worked out. I really felt like he has done so many sleeves that he may have forgotten how to perform the RNY surgery.

Well, I was home only 5 days when my incisions broke open and bile came out my sides like water. I was very scary and we immediately went to the hospital and there began my journey. They ran a cat scan and also discovered my liver has a laceration on it as well as my spleen. It took them hours to find a bariatric surgeon willing to take me on as patient with such problems. Dr. Snyder stepped up and accepted me and I was transported to Houston. There I spent 10 days recovering I have months of recovery ahead of me.

We are all still praying the fistula continues to close so I will not need another surgery. So far God has been very good to me and I am so thankful for His faithfulness.

13 Days Post-op

It is hard to believe it was 13 days ago I began this journey. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

Since, I am still so weak and tired, yet this is my best day yet. I will post a time line of what I recall now before I completely forget what I wanted to share.

August 19, 2013 --- Flew to San Diego, arrive in Tijuana with Cecy, Dr. Kelly's wife.
Admitted into Nova Hospital. Had a short discussion with Dr, Kelly.
Blood tests were done, and x-rays.
Dr. Kelly arrives in my room about 2:00PM and we discuss the RNY and my decision for this surgery verses the VGS. After our discussion, Dr. Kelly understood why I choose to have a 95% guarantee to be rid of my diabetes.
I would be prepped for surgery that evening.
Surgery was performed and I awoke in a great state of pain.

August 20, 2013 --- Continuous round the clock care, drank some weird blue solution that Dr. Kelly requested. Was not allowed to drink anything. Felt extremely tired.
Dr. Kelly came in a couple of times and brought another doctor and introduced him. They kept looking at the drainage tube color. Dr. Kelly seemed concerned, the other doctor seem to tell him it would be okay. I just knew I would feel a burning sensation inside if I even had a drop of water down my throat and I was still very tired.

August 21, 2013 --- Dr. and Mrs. Kelly drove me to Angelos Hospital for my swallowing/leak test.
Dr. Kelly was noticing my extreme tiredness and inability to get around.
The leak test was painful and they made me do it twice. I could see Dr, Kelly's face through the window as he was watching the monitor and I could see real concern on his face. Without anything being said I knew something was not right.
After the test Dr. and Mrs. Kelly were making numerous phone calls. Dr. and Mrs. Kelly drove me back to the hospital and Dr. Kelly explained that he needed to go back in for surgery and he was putting his team together and they would also use a camera.
6:00 PM. I am back in the OR having revision surgery done.
Awoke in my room feeling much better than I did from the first surgery.

August 22, 2013 --- Hospital recovery.

August 23, 2013 --- Hospital recovery.

August 24,2013 --- Discharged from the hospital and take to swallowing/leaks test. Other patient who was there from Alaska was also having his done. He was walking and carrying his bags as if nothing was even done on him. Made me rethink my decision to have had this surgery done.
Passed my swallow/leak test as did the other patient.
We were both transported to Lucerna hotel which was lovely, but I was still in no shape to enjoy. I just wanted to get home.

August 25, 2013 --- Flew home, felt better to know I was back at home in the event I had anymore complications at least it was home and family was near.

August 26-29, 2013 --- Each day felt the same, continued all the antibiotics and other meds Dr. Kelly gave me when I left. Still really couldn't walk much, my side where the drainage tube was removed is still extremely sore. I am sleeping in a recliner in our bedroom next to the bathroom so hubby can assist me up out of the chair and to the bathroom. I am gaining strength and energy a little bit every day. Have severe dry mouth and I worried of getting thrush from all the antibiotics I have had.

August 30, 2013 --- Hubby is back to work today and my eldest son is left in charge of caring for me.
I begin to notice thrush developing in my mouth and throat and I am having trouble drinking and swallowing. I had some spare Fluconazole that the pharmacy dispensed to me earlier in the year and had not used. I took this about 3:00PM.

August 31, 2013 --- Day two with son's care. So thankful to have him here to help me.
My throat is feeling better. Hubby's work day is over and again he will be off with me until
Friday next week. Had hubby stop and pick up some Listerine for gargling.
Had a restless nights sleep.

September 1, 2013 --- Feeling my drainage hole wound begin to leak more. I have been applying pressure on the hard knotted areas and applying pressure and helping to discharge more the fluids.
Once I drained a lot of this fowl fluid my mobility has been better. Took a shower today, have been purposely applying pressure to drain the wounds of anything and size is going down and I feel even better. I have walked more, sat up more, and felt more alert today than any day so far.
I ate my fist semi-solid food today besides the occasional Greek yogurt. I had cream of wheat for breakfast. It tasted wonderful.
Still not sure how I feel about the entire process at this moment, but wanted to share where I was with all of you so you can be informed.

This has taken me a few hours to do with breaks in between and I am ready for rest. More updates will follow later.