One thing about having had this fistula . . . I know I am still scared to really eat much and anything to
strong in flavor. I mix my protein shake with a little milk so it's not
to thick either. I only eat an ounce at a time about every hour. I
still hurt and when I do too much, which isn't much at all.
I get chills
like I am cold. It's something I have always gotten when I have trauma
or severe pain. I take my pain medicine to help me relax through it. I
figure by how I feel now I am about 6 weeks from feeling better enough
to go places again. So far I only go from the bedroom to the kitchen. I
am still sleeping in the recliner we brought into the bedroom. I cannot
sit up or lay back without it as my stomach cannot handle the pain.
I fear springing a leak again more than anything and then I
also fear the what if it starts leaking again but stays on the inside. I
weigh myself every day to make sure I am not leaking on the inside and
gaining weight. I know some of this may all sound paranoid but then
again you may be worrying about the same things.
With the complications I began doubting my surgeon. Well, I was already doubting him before I had the second surgery to fix the first surgery. I didn't feel like I was good when I was released from the hospital, but I wanted to board the plane and come home so if I at least died, I died in the US near my family rather than alone in Mexico.
Once home I was healing fine until
one day I started with a small leak from 2 of my incisions. I didn't
know if I had caused the leak by massaging some of the hard spots on my
left side. They were like hard lumps that hurt and pushed against my
ribs. So I massaged them a bit in hope's they would go away. I also
wondered if I had pulled it apart by getting up and down from my chair.
Now, I wonder if it's just the doctors hurrying and not taking extra
time to sew us up right in the first place.Sort of like a puppy mill for surgery.
I hate to see the bill from Houston after spending 10 days in the hospital.
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